Cassidy Spencer | Writer
All the feelings in between.


The Best Thing to Ever Happen to You is Realising Your Own Self-Worth

Aziz Acharki  (CC0)

Have you ever heard the phrase “They’re the best thing to ever happen to me?” Did you roll your eyes or gag upon hearing it? Or did you gush and think it was incredibly romantic and hoped to meet your person who would make you feel the same way?

Hopefully it’s the former, but more often than not, it’s the latter. We’re always waiting for this dream person to change our lives. This person who is meant to rescue us. Or worse, we’re waiting for the day that we’re that person to someone else.

But the reality is, being the best thing to ever happen to someone isn’t healthy. Not only is it putting a lot of pressure on your relationship, it’s also putting a lot of pressure on you. Imagine having to be this perfect version of yourself at all times, no matter what.

Who has time for that?

No one should make an individual the centre of their universe

Being the centre of someone else’s universe is exhausting. Worse still, it can be dehumanising. You begin to lose your sense of self, conscious of how every decision you make can affect the other person.

That’s if you’re self-aware enough to even realise. Some people never even notice, which can lead to a lot of heartbreak and devastation.

Healthy relationships are mutual relationships. They’re independent. They are between people who share a mutual love and respect, but have their own personalities, goals and interests. If they were to break up tomorrow, they would be upset – probably for a while – but they would inevitably move on.

People who have healthy relationships typically understand their own self-worth. They can see their value, and they’re not about to hand it over to a third party.

They’re not kidding when they say “first, love yourself”

You may have heard this phrase a few hundred times before too. “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else”. Before you roll your eyes at this one, don’t take it so literally.

Of course you can still love other people if you don’t like yourself. Not all of us have the luxury of perfect self-confidence. But if you find your relationships are regularly failing, it’s time to start doing some soul-searching. Are you constantly negative and relying on your partners to always cheer you up?

It’s up to you how you handle it. Seek a professional’s advice or simply think about ways you can improve your attitude. Whatever works best for you.

Once you realise your own self-worth (even if it only comes in waves), you won’t need to make someone the centre of your universe — because you will already be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.