Cassidy Spencer | Writer
All the feelings in between.


I Still Love You

Man fading into train tracks,  Gabriel  (CC0)

Man fading into train tracks, Gabriel (CC0)

I still love you.

The words reverberated inside her head on repeat. She could still see him; the way the words tumbled from his mouth in a rush, the way he realised what he had after he had said it, the uncertainty.

She remembered her immediate denial. You don’t. You don’t. How could you? How could you, after all this time, tell me what I’d been waiting to hear for so long?

It was just a drunken confession, she told herself. Spawned from jealousy and shock at seeing her once more, after so long. That’s all it was. It wasn’t love. It couldn’t be love.

If it were love, he would have tried harder. He would be trying harder now. Where’s her Knight in Shining Armour, knocking down her door, carrying her away on a white stallion? Her little girl’s dream.

That’s not him. That will never be him.

So often did she dream of him arriving on her doorstep in the night to tell her he’d made a mistake.

Even in her dreams she’d never allowed for love.

I still love you. I still love you.